Mark 10:35-45

³⁵James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." ³⁶And he said to them, "What is it you want me to do for you?" ³⁷And they said to him, "Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory." ³⁸But Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?" ³⁹They replied, "We are able." Then Jesus said to them, "The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; ⁴⁰but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared."⁴¹When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. ⁴²So Jesus called them and said to them, "You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. ⁴³But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. ⁴⁵For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."

The cross.  It is the central symbol for Christians.  We place it before us in worship as a reminder of what we believe, of Christ’s presence here.  It is a reminder of death.

In the this passage from Mark, we hear the conversation that follows Jesus' third prediction of his death.  

The disciples seem to follow each of these predictions with a conversation about glory.  The last time it was an argument about who is the greatest.  This time James and John just ask if Jesus will make them the greatest, give them the places of honor at his right and his left.

There are many churches these days that don’t have a cross in their worship space or if they do it is not prominent.  It seems that people don’t want to be reminded of death.  There is a frequent claim that worship should make us feel good.  Being reminded of death doesn’t make us feel good.

To be the greatest is something that we strive for, just like James and John.  We say we want to give glory to God, but also want God to give us glory.  

Preachers who claim that God wants to bless us are popular, because we want God to bless us.  We want God to give us wealth and success and power.  Wouldn’t it feel good to know that God gave us all of those things because we are so good?

I heard a sermon once on thanksgiving where the preacher told us about the Christians in another country.  And how they had so little and they were persecuted by the people of other religions.  They weren’t given the freedom to gather for worship, and they had to do so in secret, and because they were persecuted, they were also poor.  The point of the sermon seemed to be that God has blessed us with freedom and with wealth and success, so we should be thankful…I can’t be the only one who wondered why this preacher believed God didn’t bless the Christians in another nation.

We plant our nation’s flag in our worship space and seldom question what impression that leaves to outsiders and visitors about our priorities and what we believe about God’s blessings.  Does God bless America and not the other nations of the world?

“You do not know what you are asking.” He says to them.  “Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized.”  Confidently they answer, “We are able.”

Politicians invoke the name of Jesus to win the Christian vote.  Attaching God’s name to all sorts of agendas.  It confuses many Christians, and even more non-Christians.  If God wants everything the politicians say, then God cannot possibly be for everyone.

James and John cannot have the places to the right and left of Jesus in his glory.  Because his glory looks nothing like they imagine.  To his right and his left are two thieves.  Two sinners.  Two people with no glory; with lives that those in authority say have no value.  So life is taken away from them in all humiliation.  In death they find themselves in paradise with a king.

We can be baptized with the baptism with which Christ is baptized.  It is a baptism into death.

We come out on the other side of death soaking wet, gasping for air, clinging to life and to the God who gave it to us.  We open our eyes and there before us in the center of the kingdom is not a castle, not a palace, a king in jewels, or a man in a business suit.  But instead a man stripped bare, beaten, and hung to die.  

He carried the world on his slumped shoulders in the form of a cross.  He suffered, he took on everything and gave everything for a world in need.  He is our king, our lord, our high priest, our savior.

To look upon this sight and imagine ourselves a part of his kingdom is not easy.    It does not fit with what we are told we should desire.  We come from a nation that with enough might to influence all other nations, with enough wealth to get whatever we want, with enough glory to believe that God is on our side and against anyone who challenges us.  This cross is not attractive; it does not make us feel good.   It does not make our nation powerful, or our families wealthy.  

 It is ugly enough that we want to turn away.  But we hear his words “Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant and whoever wishes to be first among you must be a slave of all.  For the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.”

Why do we make our crosses shiny and ornate?  To show that it is the true place of glory. But maybe it is confusing to put such honor on an instrument of death.  Maybe it takes away the reminder we all need of the servant king who died there.  

We need to be reminded of death because it is the greatest blessing we are ever given.  It is a death that leads to resurrection; to new life.  Not a life of worldly glory, but a life in the kingdom of God, where sinners receive the places to the right and the left hand of a king, servants become great and the first is the slave of all.

We need to be reminded of death because Christ’s death is for us, for sinners, for we who do not know what we ask for. 

In our world of seeking glory, success, honor, wealth, and power, we need a reminder that none of these will survive in the kingdom of God. Death will swallow them whole, but it will not swallow us because the one who calls us to serve, first served us, first died and first was resurrected.  We are able to drink the cup that he drinks and be baptized with the baptism with which he was baptized.  We are able to die and rise with him to a kingdom where all of the glory is his, but the kingdom is open to all.  

The power of an apology

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9

Remember those awkward and difficult times as a kid when you got in an argument with a sibling or another kid, and you were made to stand next to each other and apologize?  No, like you mean it.

This week I am recognizing the value of this more than ever, as I see and hear people getting angry over an apology.  Throughout the week there have been many attacks and protests over and anti-Islamic movie that was posted on the internet.  The protests target the United States, since that is where the movie came from.  Some of the protests have not been violent, others have.  Muslims around the world, along with many who do not share their faith are angry and hurt and they are reacting.  The violent reactions have been rightly condemned by many national governments.  They are upsetting and people are obviously hurt and angry in response to a hurt and angry response.

But what upsets me just as much, if not more, is the outrage spreading around because someone, the US Secretary of State in fact, had the audacity (or compassion) to apologize.

More people started protesting the apology.  As if you should never apologize for your wrongdoing if someone else did something wrong too.  As if I wasn’t in the wrong just because my sister hit me too.  As if the best thing to do when two parties are hurting is to try to obliterate the other first.  Because if that kid knows I can beat him up, he’ll be afraid of me, and that is the best way to peace (or the illusion of it).

A huge part of our calling as Christians is to repent.  In order to do this, we must actually acknowledge our sin.  We cannot turn away from it if we pretend it isn’t there, as if we are victims of evil from some outside source and our own thoughts and actions are never condemned.  We cannot believe in a savior if we think we do not need to be saved.  And we do need to be saved, not just from others, but from ourselves.

In any relationship, when someone is hurt, the relationship is broken.  Jesus came to reconcile us to God and to the rest of humanity.  God does not desire broken relationships.  God desires peace and unity.  Sometimes healing and reconciliation and peace require an apology.  You might be surprised how God can work to spread love in the world through something so simple.  If you think you have no power or ability to work for world peace, consider starting with an apology, or at the very least, don't condemn those who do.

This I learned standing next to my sister, or my brother, or my friend.  Standing in front of my mother, telling me to apologize.  “I don’t care who started it.  No, like you mean it.  Look her in the eye and say you are sorry.  Ok, that’s better.”

Thanks, Mom.

What I want other clergy to know

In response to recent blog posts  "What Young Clergy Want You to Know." and the response to it "What older clergy want you to know" (which changes only a few words to make the same thoughts about a different group of people), I have a response too.  The information shared in both is honest and valuable.  I would like to add to the list, and perhaps build a bridge.  As a young pastor who works closely with an "experienced" pastor, I know it isn't always easy to be who we are in the church and sometimes we don't understand each other.  Our expectations are very different, but our hopes are very much the same.

There are many challenges and frustrations that go along with being a pastor.  Many are shared among all clergy.  Some are denominational, gender related, or yes, generational (though often not based on age, but rather the years we are trained).  Let's not create a divide amongst colleagues when they may be all the support we have on a bad day, and the only ones who truly rejoice with us on a good one.

That being said, here is what I would like my friends and colleagues of all ages to know:

The church isn't dying, it is changing.  Many of these changes are very positive.  Some are quite painful for those who did not anticipate a change.  To talk about the church as we know it not being here in ten years is either very optimistic, assuming serious transformation will be complete in one decade, or very pessimistic, assuming that everyone who loves this church will die off or give up that quickly.  Either way, I choose to believe the church will be here in ten years and will strongly resemble the church I grew up in.

There is much value in tradition.  The church has passed on much to us that enriches our lives of faith.  We don't have to reinvent the wheel, we just need to focus on who is important.

The Holy Spirit is at work among us.  There is joy in the kingdom of God.  Transformation and renewal are the work of God.

Fear is your enemy.  It doesn't matter who you are, if fear wins over faith, you will be ineffective in your ministry.  Be willing to take some risks for the sake of the gospel.

We need to support each other, even if we don't always understand each other.

Not all "younger" pastors agree with each other.  Not all "older" pastors agree with each other.  Matters of opinion and taste are always secondary to the proclamation of the gospel.

Regardless of age, proclaiming is about communicating to the people you are with.  If they don't understand your language, you need to adjust so they can hear the Word of God through you.  It isn't your voice that needs to be heard, it is God's.

The church idolizes "young people" these days; they also aren't expected to pay as much to pastors with fewer years experience.  This adds challenges for older pastors looking for a call.

The church idolizes "young people" these days; they think young pastors will make other young people flock through the doors.  This is an unrealistic expectation.  Not all young pastors like to work with youth, and we are not called to be the savior (Jesus already took care of that).

Regardless of these challenges, the Holy Spirit is at work in the call process.  What is important is not age or years of experience, but rather that the gifts a leader has match with the gifts and needs of the people they serve.

It is difficult to have a life away from your flock.  Take your days off.  Take your vacation (all of it).  Spend time with family, be deliberate about making friends.  You won't have a life away if you never attempt to leave.  God is still present with your flock, even when you are away.

When I hear complaints from pastors who say they can't afford to retire, but they own a large home, three vehicles and numerous other expensive things, and have a spouse with full-time income, I'm doubtful. (Btw, it is not a requirement to put your children through college.  People have been doing it on their own for generations.)

When I hear complaints from new grads who say they can't afford their debt, but they own lots of electronics, buy a new car immediately after seminary, and have a daily $6.00 latte, I'm doubtful.

Most pastors are not underpaid.  Yes, we have a lot of student debt.  Yes, we have a lot of anticipated retirement expenses.  Is it possible to better steward our resources?  It might be Biblical, set a good example for others, and help us reach our goals.

That being said, it is always good to encourage congregations to pay synod guidelines.  They are based on good research and are in place for a reason.  If the people agree to support a pastor in order to have full-time professional ministry, then they are responsible for following through fairly.

This is an exciting time to be in pastoral ministry.  It is not secure.  Security in this life is not promised to followers of Christ.  Know that even if being a pastor for life is not for you, your gifts will be used in whatever vocation to you choose.  There are many ways to proclaim and to serve, all of which give glory to God.

You are a valuable child of God, claimed and called.  Jesus died for you.  The Holy Spirit works in and through you.  You are loved and you are not alone.

People tend to follow leaders.  You do not have to wait your turn; just lead somewhere worth following.  Christ has led the way already.  You don't have to blaze the path; follow the one already in place.   What you do have to wait for is the fullness of the kingdom of God.  We all await that day together with great hope and anticipation.

The Lenten Journey

"Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come newar; repent, and believe in the good news." -Mark 1:14-15

A friend of mine has two kids that attend a Catholic school.  They had been talking about Lent at school and how they should pick something to give up.  The kids came home very excited to tell Mom what they were giving up for Lent.  The older of the two, who is in second grade, said that he was going to give up his Wii games.  Then the kindergartner proudly announced that he was going to give up reading.  His mother then had to explain why he couldn’t actually give up reading for Lent; perhaps the concept is lost on children that age.

Actually, perhaps the concept is lost on most of us.  The idea of giving something up for lent comes from the practice of fasting.  The purpose of the traditional Lenten fast was to have a physical reminder of Christ’s suffering and sacrifice for us.  With every twinge of hunger, is a reminder of God. 

We have strayed far from this reminder with the practice we now have, which is giving up anything and everything that we think isn’t good for us.  Some people give up chocolate, caffeine, alcohol, or other consumable substances; other people give up some sort of technology, game, or other activity that is a distraction.  But I wonder how much of these things are really a sacrifice, and if we are thinking at all about God when we desire to have them back?  Add to that the ritual of telling everyone proudly what we have given up, and I’m fairly certain we have missed the point altogether.  It seems to be, for many a self-improvement ritual rather than a spiritual practice.

I will say that resisting temptation is an admirable goal, one that we can all improve on a little and one that I believe is pleasing to God.  The story of Jesus temptation speaks to the reality of Satan tempting humanity.  Immediately after Jesus is declared the Son of God, he is tempted by Satan.  Even the Son of God is tempted by glory and the possibility that he is someone above the rest.  But the story of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness is here not only to tell us that Jesus was tempted just as we are; it is here to tell us that he did something different.  He resisted temptation.  The devil did not win this game.  Jesus, with the strength of God, was able to resist everything that was tempting to him.

The idea that we can resist temptation just as Jesus did is, frankly, arrogant.  Or at the very least, misguided.  The fact that Jesus underwent temptation, speaks to its reality in our lives.  The devil is ever-present tempting us with glory, power, riches, pleasure, and most importantly the idea that we are good enough without God.  So we create more rules, ones that are easier to follow, to prove to ourselves that we can resist temptation.  We do it for our own benefit.  We go through six weeks avoiding whatever our representation of temptation is, and at the end congratulate ourselves for a job well done, going right back to whatever we were doing before this journey began.

If you have given something up for Lent, I am not discouraging you from following through with this practice.  In fact, I find fasting to be an incredibly meaningful practice and I encourage you to try it sometime, but when we choose to fast, we need to focus properly.   Question what benefit it has for you spiritually to go through this period of temptation and resistance.  Where is God in this practice?  Where is the real temptation?

You see, the point of Lent is not small and temporary, nor is it about us or our ability to make small sacrifices.  The point of Lent is what Christ proclaims at the beginning of his ministry: The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near, repent; and believe in the good news.  Giving something up for 40 days hardly seems to embody the transformation that repentance calls for.  When we focus so much on one little thing, like resisting temptation in just one area of life, we miss the bigger picture that Jesus is proclaiming.  Lent is very much about the big picture.

During Lent we focus on the realities of life, the dirty and ugly stuff.  Stuff like the fact that we give in to temptation all too often.  Stuff like the fact that we focus on ourselves most of the time.  Stuff like the fact that we continue to sin no matter how hard we try not to.  Stuff like suffering.  Stuff like death.  Stuff like serving our own interests and the likelihood that if Jesus walked the earth today, we would crucify him again.  No matter how hard we work, no matter our accomplishments, life is still hard, and we can’t make it better.

Now, you are probably thinking, that sounds downright depressing, why would we want to focus on all of that for 40 days???  The answer is simple: perspective. 

If the kingdom of God is here, and we are to change our lives and believe in the good news, a good question is why?  Or what is this good news?  Well, the good news is that in God’s kingdom, all of those ugly realities of life are taken away.  We are wiped clean and given a new life, transformed in Christ, made possible by his transformation from crucifixion to resurrection. 

The grace of God doesn’t make any sense until we understand that we need it.  Forgiveness means nothing unless we acknowledge that we have sin and a deep desire for it to be taken away.  New life is only good news when we recognize that the one we have isn’t exactly what we are looking for.  In our broken world, there is a great need for transformation, and we aren’t going to be able to make that happen on our own. 

The real thing that we give up in the season of Lent is ourselves, our lives, our control.  We give it all over to God, so that God can transform and redeem us.  We admit our mistakes, our shortcomings, our inability to fix ourselves and our world.  And the God who gives us life itself will turn our suffering and heartache into something new and beautiful.  It will not be something you do at all, but something that is done to you.

Lent is our great reminder of the journey through life, a journey that leads to death.  Lent is here to remind us of our need for transformation; transformation that can come only from God; transformation that comes in the great promise of Easter.  The celebration will be that much more joyful when we are reminded how much we need a savior to give us new life. 

The American Girl

I have heard my whole life about body image issues in young girls.  Many blame the magazines, fashion, and the entertainment industry.  While it doesn’t help, they aren’t entirely at fault.  And the issue isn’t just about weight or wanting to be pretty.  The low self-esteem of the American girl is a much deeper wound and much bigger issue than most imagine.  It drives us to find value, and especially love (or the illusion of it) anywhere we can. 

The issues stem from broken relationships and a need to find love that we don’t feel we have gotten. The deep systemic and cultural issues lie below the surface where most people, especially men, can’t see them.

Think most American women are sexually liberated?  Think again.  A few confident women are, but most girls and women just want someone to want them.  Seeking validation through attraction and sex is a reality for both genders.  Sex is rightfully associated with love, but if we don’t know real love, then sex becomes a dangerous substitute.

Think the divorce rate is because young people don’t take marriage seriously?  Not necessarily.  Countless middle-aged people are getting divorced because the women finally have the clarity to identify verbal and emotional abuse and refuse to continue in that life.  Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we recognized right away when people aren’t treating us right?

In a conversation with a police officer, issues of gang violence and drug use came up.  He said that, surprisingly, the biggest problems are with the girlfriends who are willing to do anything for the gang member…and they don’t get anything out of it.  News flash: they do.  They believe these boys/men love them.  They get attention (and most likely gifts).  These are abusive relationships like any other.  These girls are often abused on every level, including physically, yet they get what they are seeking…a feeling of being important.  That’s why they can’t walk away.

This isn’t an issue of race or class.  We all want to feel like we are important and someone loves us, but most of us have experienced some broken relationship that contributes to our low self-worth.  It contributes to all sorts of issues in our society.  These issues run the gamut from eating disorders and obesity to criminal activity, suicide, addictions, domestic violence, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, and just plain going on a date with the jerk that lives next door.

So what to do?  Love these girls.  Love them deeply.  Build relationships in which they can see their true value.  Teach them that it is not their ability to attract a mate that makes them valuable.


Moms of the world, that means no more comments about wanting grandchildren.  I know you want these girls to be happy like you were, but pressure to find a husband only creates desperate women who are willing to take whatever they can get.

Friends, do not console someone who just broke up by saying, “don’t worry someone will come along.”  Who’s worried?  This issue is about the present hurt.  Instead, reassure them that they are still loved: by you, not some fictitious, future prince charming. 

Men, step up and quit taking advantage.  Just because we have issues does not let you off the hook. Don’t stand for abuse of any kind.  Respect women, and tell your friends to respect them too.  I promise, if you do that, you will still find someone to sleep with you, and more importantly someone to love you.

Women have a lot to contribute to the world, but they won’t do it unless they know they are loved and have a support system.  In this country, we finally have the voice and the choices to make life what we want it to be; we just need to recognize that we are valuable to more people than the ones who are physically attracted.  Please tell the girls in your life that they are beautiful, that they are loved, and show them their value by listening and caring for them no matter what.  Even these small things can make a huge difference.  We were made for healthy, positive, life-giving relationships with each other.  Let's work on creating as many of those as we can.

What's in it for me?

On occasion, someone leaves me newspaper articles in my box at the church.  One article given to me recently is a critique of one of the factors in Obama’s proposed jobs plan.   Under the proposed plan, this wealthy man would have his taxes raised. He claimed that he wouldn’t mind paying more taxes if the tax plan were sensible, but since there would also be a cut to the deduction for charitable giving, the people who would really suffer are not the rich, but the poor, who receive that giving.  His reasoning is that if wealthy people don’t get enough benefit for their charity, they won’t give, and the poor suffer, so the tax policy isn't sound enough to be supported.

Ok, there may be a little truth to the theory that some people give more if they think there is a tax deduction.  But if it is that big of a deal, then we have a serious crisis on our hands.  If getting 28% of your giving back as tax deduction instead of 35% is enough for people to say they won’t give anymore, then I think they have lost the concept of giving. 

My understanding of a gift is that we give it because we want to and that we don’t expect anything in return.  It is also my understanding that I have been blessed with enough to give generously (though in this country I am not considered wealthy) and others have been blessed enough to give generously too.  Especially when we know that someone else, who has less, is in need. 

It is my understanding that God’s plan for the world is that none would go without.  And that God has given us enough that none have to.  The uneven distribution of resources comes from greediness and sin.  Giving is one way to combat our idolatry of money, to demonstrate and remind ourselves that something else (God) is more important than the accumulation of wealth.  Rich or poor, we are susceptible to that idolatry, and so we all must give to the degree we are able.  And the harsh reality is, if we who are wealthier do not care for the poor, nobody will.

It is my hope that this man is wrong, that a majority of people who give do it because they want to make a difference for those who receive, and that whatever the government decides to do with this particular piece of the tax law, those who have more will continue to see the need to share with those who have less in a variety of ways (including through the government).  May the hungry and the poor be blessed richly by the generosity of God through the gifts of God’s people and, wealthy or poor, may we all have generous hearts.

Feeling discouraged, unpopular, and hungry

One of the things that people really don’t talk about much is how lonely being a pastor is.  Pastors don’t talk about it because it is likely to offend the people they serve, and other people don’t talk about it because they have no idea. 

So for those of you who have no idea, I will say it.  Being a pastor is a job where I spend time with people, lots of people, and is totally isolating and lonely, because none of those people get it.  My relationship with each and every one of my congregation members is professional, they have a need to hear the gospel, I proclaim it.  It is that simple.  Proclaiming the gospel is always done in relationship to others, so we get to know each other, it is often, in fact usually, enjoyable and fulfilling.  But that relationship is rarely about liking each other, understanding each other, and is not supposed to be about loving each other on a deep, intimate level. 

It is those deep relationships that are missing from the lives of pastors.  We are sent to serve in places that are often far away from the family we grew up with.  It is often also far away from the friends we have made throughout our lives.  We go through a rather long process of education and spiritual formation with a set of people we call classmates that are really more like family than anything else.  Then we are split up and sent all over the country and if we see any of them more often than once a year we are lucky. 

And so, we set out to build a new life.  Our primary relationship becomes with our congregation, the people that we can’t get all that close to or even be totally honest with…after all, they have the power to fire us, and if we aren’t exactly what they want, they may just do that.  Even those people who are lucky enough to take family with them are expected to leave that family at home for an abundance of meetings and events that require the pastor’s presence and attention. 

Meeting new people and making friends is complicated.  Not many people want to be friends with a pastor: either they are afraid of being judged or preached at (not likely to happen, btw) or they have had a bad experience and hold anger toward the church or pastors in general, or they are intimidated, or they think they aren’t good enough, or any other number of reasons that people avoid pastors.  Add to it that we work 50+ hours a week and have very little opportunity to even meet people who aren’t members of our congregation.  These complications multiply the smaller the town is.  If making friends is a challenge, don’t even consider the possibility of going on a date or falling in love.

So, many pastors seek support from each other.  Great, if you aren’t the only pastor under the age of 40, the only woman, the only one who isn’t burnt out, etc. 

The picture is not entirely bleak.  I do have friends, but it has taken time and effort, and sometimes when the people in the congregation seem disengaged, it seems that there is nobody to really talk to, the people I truly love are all far away, and it’s almost lunch time, I have to admit that being discouraged and hungry are probably symptoms of loneliness (well, maybe not the hunger).   I share this because it seems that lately I’ve been hearing a lot of friends and colleagues tell me they are lonely, isolated, and don’t have anyone where they live. 

Perhaps it is time that we stop hiding it and help people to understand that while our relationship with God is the most important relationship we have, God created us to be in deep, loving relationships with other people too and being a pastor or anything else just isn’t rewarding enough to fill that need all by itself, even if it is God’s work.  Today I pray for all people who are feeling lonely that God would provide the relationships to fulfill our need for love, that there would be time and energy to invest in those relationships and that others would be supportive and understanding.